Your coach’s notes for Leo

What you did great ✨

• 👍You built a fun surprise into your story — the reader doesn't expect Jo and Bob to discover they both play Roblox, and that twist feels real and exciting.
• 👍You used dialogue with speaker tags to show the conversation moving back and forth, which helps the reader hear both characters' voices.

Top 3 things to grow 🌱

• Punctuation

  You wrote: “Jo jerked at the sight of Bob;what? you're here too?”

  A semicolon (;) connects two full ideas, but here the second part "what? you're here too?" is a question, not a separate idea. A period or a question mark works better. Also, dialogue needs quotation marks so readers know the characters are talking.

  Try: “"Jo jerked at the sight of Bob. 'What? You're here too?' they both said at the same time."”

• Punctuation

  You wrote: “"no wait" said Bob, "I know you hate me after It ,but i been meaning to ask you, can i friend you in roblox?".”

  Inside quotation marks, periods and commas take the place of the period that would normally end the sentence. Also, words like "It" and "Roblox" should be capitalized, and "i" should always be a capital "I" when it means yourself.

  Try: “"No wait," said Bob. "I know you hate me after it, but I been meaning to ask you, can I friend you in Roblox?"”

• Sentence structure

  You wrote: “"You know，i don't really blame you for It,so.let's be friends again." "great idea."said Bob”

  The first sentence is actually two ideas smashed together with just a comma. A small word like "so" works best when joined with a comma and a tiny connecting word (like "and"). The second sentence also needs a space between the period and "said."

  Try: “"You know, I don't really blame you for it, so let's be friends again." "Great idea," said Bob.”