🌟 Coach notes
Your coach’s notes for Leo
📅 Saturday, July 18, 2026 · ☁️ Cloudy, 84°F
Topic: fictional
Your main idea
You wake up on a mysterious island after being alone for ten days, and when you find your friends hurt, you must figure out who attacked them — and you discover that one of them, the smartest, might actually be the enemy.
Your writing
You have been out at an unknown island for ten days. You ate all the food that you had, so the only other survivors went out on a hunt for more food. Now you decided to look for them, but you find them injured and unconscious. You take one person's weapon and get into a fighting position, ready for whatever or whoever hurt your friends. You look around and clues tell you the enemy is gone. You were about to wake them up when you noticed that one person was missing. Your mind spins quickly, the person missing was the smartest, so there are two possibilitys. One, he found how to leave the island so he knocked everyone unconscious and left. Two, he got kidnapped by another person on this island who either doesn't want us to escape or they want to escape themselves.
Coach’s feedback
What you did great ✨
- I love how you set the scene right away — being stranded on an unknown island for ten days makes me feel the danger and the loneliness before the action even starts.
- Your ending is super clever. Instead of just guessing the enemy is a monster, you let the reader think with you. The two possibilities about the smartest person being the bad guy made me want to keep reading!
Top 3 things to grow 🌱
- Spelling
You wrote: “possibilitys”
You spelled a tricky word wrong here. "Possibilitys" should be "possibilities" — remember, when a word ends in a -y sound and you add -es, you change the y to i first.
Try: “possibilities”
- Sentence structure
You wrote: “One, he found how to leave the island so he knocked everyone unconscious and left. Two, he got kidnapped by another person on this island who either doesn't want us to escape or they want to escape themselves.”
These two sentences are doing a big job — each one has a whole idea inside it. Breaking them up with a period or using words like "First" and "Second" will help your reader follow your thinking.
Try: “First, he might have figured out how to leave the island, so he knocked everyone out and left by himself. Second, he could have been kidnapped by someone else on the island — maybe someone who does not want us to leave, or who wants to escape alone.”
- Clarity
You wrote: “You look around and clues tell you the enemy is gone.”
This sentence jumps a little fast. It would feel smoother if you hinted at what kind of clues you saw — like footprints, or something missing — so the reader can picture the moment with you.
Try: “You look around and notice clues — broken branches and footprints leading away — that tell you the enemy is gone.”
Same ideas, just cleaner
Your coach cleaned it up — using your words and ideas.
You have been out on an unknown island for ten days. You ate all the food that you had, so the only other survivors went out on a hunt for more food. Now you decided to look for them, but you find them injured and unconscious. You take one person's weapon and get into a fighting position, ready for whatever or whoever hurt your friends. You look around and notice clues — broken branches and footprints leading away — that tell you the enemy is gone. You were about to wake them up when you noticed that one person was missing. Your mind spins quickly. The person missing was the smartest, so there are two possibilities. First, he might have figured out how to leave the island, so he knocked everyone out and left by himself. Second, he could have been kidnapped by someone else on the island — maybe someone who does not want us to leave, or who wants to escape alone.
Try this practice 🎯
Practice spelling words that end in -y when you add -es. Pick the correct ending for each blank.
The word "possibility" plus -es becomes __________. (Hint: change the y to i first!) Another example: "puppy" plus -es becomes __________.
Show a sample answer
possibilities / puppies
Now try again in your own words ✍️
Use the coach’s ideas, but write it like YOU would. This is the most important part!
Saved versions appear in your parent’s progress page.