🌟 Coach notes
Your coach’s notes for Leo
📅 Friday, August 7, 2026 · ☁️ Cloudy, 88°F
Topic: ficional
Your main idea
A boy named Jay finds an ad that scans YouTube videos for his avatar, discovers he appears in several videos, and starts his own YouTube channel.
Your writing
On one beautiful day, Jay was playing video games. But then, Jay remembered a video he saw with a ad that claim to be able to scan all youtube videos for his avatar so he could see where he appeared. After Jay used it, he found out he appeared in several videos. So he made his own youtube channel
Coach’s feedback
What you did great ✨
- You used a clear sequence of events with words like "On one beautiful day," "But then," and "After" to show how the story moves forward. That makes it easy to follow.
- You picked an interesting idea for a fictional story — finding yourself in real videos is a fun "what if" moment that makes a reader curious to read more.
Top 3 things to grow 🌱
- Punctuation
You wrote: “On one beautiful day, Jay was playing video games.”
A new speaker or a new idea should start with a capital letter. "Jay" should be capitalized. Also, "On one beautiful day, Jay was playing video games" works best as one flowing sentence.
Try: “On one beautiful day, Jay was playing video games.”
- Clarity
You wrote: “he found out he appeared in several videos. So he made his own youtube channel”
This part is a little unclear. What did he actually do after finding out he was in the videos? Did he react with surprise? Also, "youtube" should be capitalized because it's a brand name.
Try: “He was shocked to find out he appeared in several videos. So he decided to make his own YouTube channel.”
- Word choice
You wrote: “a video he saw with a ad that claim to be able to scan”
"A ad" should be "an ad" because "ad" starts with a vowel sound. Also, "claim" should be "claimed" so the tense matches — the ad made a claim in the past.
Try: “an ad that claimed it could scan”
Same ideas, just cleaner
Your coach cleaned it up — using your words and ideas.
On one beautiful day, Jay was playing video games. But then, Jay remembered a video he saw with an ad that claimed it could scan all YouTube videos for his avatar so he could see where he appeared. After Jay used it, he was shocked to find out he appeared in several videos. So he made his own YouTube channel.
Try this practice 🎯
Fix the capitalization, article (a/an), and verb tense in this sentence.
Rewrite this sentence correctly: "She watched a apple fall from a tree and said she have never seen that happen before."
Show a sample answer
She watched an apple fall from a tree and said she had never seen that happen before.
Now try again in your own words ✍️
Use the coach’s ideas, but write it like YOU would. This is the most important part!
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