🌟 Coach notes

Your coach’s notes for Leo

📅 Monday, July 20, 2026 · 🌦️ Light Drizzle, 86°F

Topic: fictional

🎉 You finished one draft!

Your main idea

A boy named Bob gets teleported to a strange place, where he spots a hidden stalker, traps it with his throwing knives, and questions the mysterious stranger who then vanishes.

Your writing

Bob was suddenly teleported to an unknow place. He looked around in which sees nothing and leaves, little did he know that there was something in the shadows watching him. He looks around not seeing whats there; just kidding, he did see it (or them) he throws his throwing knifes at the stalker with perfection. The knifes perfectly surrounded the stalker and he was trapped, bob asks him:"WHO are you，where am i?". The man just smirks, saying :"Your wost" and disappears.

Coach’s feedback

What you did great ✨

I love how your story has a real plot twist with "just kidding, he did see it" — it made me want to keep reading to find out what happens next.
You used a cool detail like the knives "perfectly surrounded" the stalker in a circle. That picture really played out in my head like a movie scene.

Top 3 things to grow 🌱

Spelling
You wrote: “unknow”
This word is missing a letter at the end. Spelling tip: "un-known" has an "n" before the "known" part.
Try: “unknown”
Punctuation
You wrote: “The man just smirks, saying :"Your wost" and disappears.”
When you write what a person says, you put a comma before the quote starts, not a colon. Also, the word "worst" is misspelled — it ends with "st," not just "t."
Try: “The man just smirks, saying, "Your worst," and disappears.”
Sentence structure
You wrote: “He looked around in which sees nothing and leaves, little did he know that there was something in the shadows watching him.”
This sentence is trying to do too much at once and got tangled. Try breaking it into two short sentences so the reader can follow the action step by step.
Try: “He looked around but saw nothing and started to leave. Little did he know that something in the shadows was watching him.”

Same ideas, just cleaner

Your coach cleaned it up — using your words and ideas.

Bob was suddenly teleported to an unknown place. He looked around but saw nothing and started to leave. Little did he know that something in the shadows was watching him. He looks around, not seeing what is there. Just kidding — he did see it. Or them. He throws his throwing knives at the stalker with perfection. The knives perfectly surrounded the stalker, and he was trapped. Bob asks him, "Who are you? Where am I?" The man just smirks, saying, "Your worst," and disappears.

Try this practice 🎯

Take this long sentence from your story and rewrite it as two shorter sentences:

"He looked around in which sees nothing and leaves, little did he know that there was something in the shadows watching him."

Show a sample answer

He looked around but saw nothing and started to leave. Little did he know that something in the shadows was watching him.

Now try again in your own words ✍️

Use the coach’s ideas, but write it like YOU would. This is the most important part!

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