🌟 Coach notes

Your coach’s notes for Leo

📅 Tuesday, July 21, 2026 · 🌤️ Mostly Sunny, 87°F

Topic: fictional

🎉 You finished one draft!

Your main idea

A tense scene where Bob attacks Steven, Steven dodges, Bob gets his knife stuck in a tree, and Steven runs into the darkness to escape.

Your writing

Bob gasps ;"YOU" he says. Steven backs up says "no-no-no，we can talk about this." as Bob charges at him. Steven doges the first hit and Bob misses, he strikes again, hit a tree and geting his knife stuck. Using this as a opportunity, Steven runs into the darkess. Nooooooo, get back here Bob shouts ,but it is too late.

Coach’s feedback

What you did great ✨

You created a really exciting action scene! The reader can feel the danger and tension between Bob and Steven, especially with the line "no-no-no, we can talk about this." That line makes Steven feel scared and real.
Good use of dialogue and short, punchy sentences to show fast action. The pace of the writing matches the speed of the fight, which is a smart choice for an action scene.

Top 3 things to grow 🌱

Spelling
You wrote: “Steven doges the first hit and Bob misses, he strikes again, hit a tree and geting his knife stuck.”
A few tricky words got misspelled here. "Dodges" needs a "j," "getting" needs two "t's," and you can clean up this sentence so it's easier to read.
Try: “Steven dodges the first hit, and Bob misses. He strikes again, hits a tree, and gets his knife stuck.”
Clarity
You wrote: “Steven doges the first hit and Bob misses, he strikes again, hit a tree and geting his knife stuck. Using this as a opportunity, Steven runs into the darkess.”
When we say "he," it can be confusing — does it mean Bob or Steven? Also "a opportunity" should be "an opportunity," and "darkess" is missing a "k."
Try: “He strikes again, hits a tree, and gets his knife stuck. Using this as an opportunity, Steven runs into the darkness.”
Punctuation
You wrote: “Bob gasps ;"YOU" he says.”
There is a semicolon and a space before "YOU" that shouldn't be there. A quote mark should sit right next to the word, with a comma before the closing quote.
Try: “Bob gasps, "YOU!" he says.”

Same ideas, just cleaner

Your coach cleaned it up — using your words and ideas.

Bob gasps, "YOU!" he says. Steven backs up and says, "No-no-no, we can talk about this," as Bob charges at him. Steven dodges the first hit, and Bob misses. He strikes again, hits a tree, and gets his knife stuck. Using this as an opportunity, Steven runs into the darkness. "Nooooooo, get back here!" Bob shouts, but it is too late.

Try this practice 🎯

Take this messy sentence and rewrite it so it is clear and easy to read. Add the missing word.

Rewrite this sentence with correct spelling and clearer words: "Steven run into the darkess and hide behind a tree."

Show a sample answer

Steven runs into the darkness and hides behind a tree.

Now try again in your own words ✍️

Use the coach’s ideas, but write it like YOU would. This is the most important part!

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